Four Years Later…Do I Still Feel The Same?
Of the things that I find loathsome about Facebook, and that number (and this goes for all social media) is growing by the day, one thing I do enjoy is…
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Of the things that I find loathsome about Facebook, and that number (and this goes for all social media) is growing by the day, one thing I do enjoy is the Timeline flashbacks. At least once or twice a week, a reminder pops up of something I posted x-number of years ago, and I say, "Oh yeah...I remember that. That was fun."
Today, this appeared. I apparently wrote this four years ago today. Uh-oh. What did I spew that I 100% disagree with myself today? Let's see
I usually find myself in the mood to write this kind of thing between Christmas and New Year's, but with tomorrow beginning my 47th trip around the sun, and it being a golf-less, cold, and rainy day, I find myself in contemplative mood. So here's what I learned on trip number 46...
-YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. One of the things I do to give back to the broadcasting business that has given so much to me is I teach. And I tell my students ALL the time that you can't just "write it in." Each day you have to wake up and make it your goal to be better than you were the day before. No one gives you anything in this business. If we get beat on-air because someone is funnier or more talented, we can live with that because they can't say they out-worked or were better prepared than us. I can't wait for that blinking cursor tomorrow morning and the thought, "What are we gonna do today?"
I no longer teach, but my love and passion for what I do every day has never wavered. That is mostly due to you. Thanks for letting us continue to be with you, sharing our lives together-every weekday afternoon. It continues to be the joy and privilege of our career.
-YOUR CHILD'S SUCCESSES AND FAILURES ARE FAR MORE EMOTIONALLY WRENCHING FOR US THAN THEM. My son is a golfer. For those that play the game you know that: a. It's a fickle mistress-the same swing that shot 72 one day will shoot 82 the next and b. There's no one to blame-good or bad-but yourself. Whether I'm caddying or just watching, I find myself living and dying for him on every shot. It'll probably kill me one day. However, whether he's on a hot streak or cold as ice on the course, I hope he knows how much I enjoy watching and more important, how proud I am of the guy who swings the sticks, regardless.
Hogan (our son) is at college now. Golf is still a HUGE part of his life. We don't get to spend the time together playing that we once did, but when we do, it remains 4 hours that I wish would last 2 months.
-BEING 15 IS STILL HARD. This year, our son transitioned not just to high school, but from private to public school with all new people and really not knowing a soul. It was the right move to make and I'd do it again tomorrow, but it has not been without its challenges and issues-some of which reminded me of a 15-year-old I used to know (and unfortunately, a lot of you did too!)
I realize that pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but I am so proud to be my son's dad. He is such a good person (mostly because of his mother, I must admit), and his future potential is limitless.
-TIME IS A PRECIOUS COMMODITY. Nothing teaches you this like having children. They're born and you never imagine how SOON it really is before you're contemplating colleges and their leaving home.
Oh have I learned this the hard way. My soul has never ached like it has with our boy gone on to his next phase of life. It is so hard to not have him with us, but the fact that he is thriving so, being away from us, lets me know we may have done a decent job as parents.
-I WISH I WAS A BETTER SON. My parents left their family in Charlotte in the mid 1960s for Houston. Growing up, we were as close a family as I could imagine. They always allowed me to chase my dreams. Unfortunately, those dreams have taken me away from Texas (and them) now for longer than I lived there. I never wanted to repeat that pattern (ironically, I've brought the family BACK to Charlotte for almost 11 years now). I feel I haven't been there when I should have been, and I know I've deprived my son-and them-of a more fulfilling relationship just because of time and distance. Damn, there's that time thing again.
This guilt will never leave. In a couple of weeks we will journey home to Texas to spend a Christmas like none other in my family. My folks have never had both their children, and all three grandchildren with them for the holiday. This year, we're going to make this happen. It will never make up for all the time lost, but if 2020 has taught nothing else, no one is promised tomorrow-so make the most of today.
-LOYALTY IS INVALUABLE. This is a trait I value almost above all others. Knowing people have your back, and you have theirs, makes failures more tolerable (although never easy or accepted), and makes victories and successes so much sweeter. I may fall down on some things, but anyone who has been in a figurative "foxhole" with me has never regretted it...nor I, them. This year has been one where, on a professional level, mutual loyalty has been very rewarding. To those I work with, I love you guys...you're the best in the business and even better people. On a personal level, loyalties have been unfortunately tested at times, but to find out how deep our bonds go has been a real blessing. We all need friends in life, I've been lucky enough to find "brothers" and "sisters."
This remains a constant for me. And those who I was speaking of here, are still in my life today. And our bond is unbreakable. There are worse things you can be known for other than being loyal.
-LIFE IS TRULY VARYING SHADES OF GREY. No, not referring to "mommy porn." 
2016 will be remembered for the highly contentious Presidential election we all lived through. I was, and am still, STUNNED by how many people take a vote (on either side) to be an ABSOLUTE endorsement of every thing that candidate has ever said and done. For example, a vote for Trump does not mean you are a misogynist; and a vote for Hillary does not mean that you're corrupt. Perhaps your vote was one that was against the other candidate rather than for one. I thought this was an obvious thought to have, apparently I was wrong. The good news is I believe in people. I think in the end we all want the greater good for us all. In the words of Winston Churchill, "The United States usually does the right thing...after all else has been exhausted." Which leads me to...
2016 will be remembered for the highly contentious Presidential election we all lived through. I was, and am still, STUNNED by how many people take a vote (on either side) to be an ABSOLUTE endorsement of every thing that candidate has ever said and done. For example, a vote for Trump does not mean you are a misogynist; and a vote for Hillary does not mean that you're corrupt. Perhaps your vote was one that was against the other candidate rather than for one. I thought this was an obvious thought to have, apparently I was wrong. The good news is I believe in people. I think in the end we all want the greater good for us all. In the words of Winston Churchill, "The United States usually does the right thing...after all else has been exhausted." Which leads me to...Ugh...the more things change, the more they stay the same, right?
-WORDS HURT. I have, fortunately/unfortunately had to learn this the hard way from being on the radio for 26 years. In the wake of the election, I have seen friends say things to one another that are unfathomable. And I'm not talking about social media "friends," no...I'm talking about the real thing-people who have known and cared about one another for decades. There are two things I know about this: 1. There will come a day when you will wish you had never said these things and will do anything to take them back AND 2. You can't. All you can do is hope that those you've disparaged will forgive you. Chances are they will never forget what you've said, but to be allowed a chance at redemption is all one can ask for. As someone whose words have unintentionally hurt people in the past, I implore you to ask for and/or grant forgiveness. No one has ever felt bad about giving or receiving a fresh start-especially among friends. And one last thought along these lines.
I, unfortunately, continue to have to learn this lesson, too.
-REMEMBER THAT LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL. There has been more than one occasion in the last couple of months that I've thought, "How can I be friends with someone who says or does these things? Why don't I just take the easy road and walk away?" The answer? Well, it's because I love that person. I know their heart is good. I know they are hurting. And I know that sometimes we all need to see one another thru the pain.
Yup
-MY SISTER IS ONE TOUGH BROAD. For those that know my family history, you've seen this in action before. The last couple of months have, unfortunately, forced her to once again put her inner resolve on display. It is her story to tell, not mine, so I won't here. However, Beth Smith is a bad ass. And as different as we are as people (my wife can't believe we're brother and sister), my love and respect for her is immeasurable.
Truly, if you were to meet us together, you would NEVER imagine us to be related. I wonder how my parents could raise such different people.
Okay, okay...even I am getting sick of me now, just one more thing.
-MY WIFE IS BETTER THAN YOURS. Sorry, I'm biased, but I'm right. With each passing year, month, week, day, hour, minute, second...I realize how far I've out-kicked my coverage. Not only is she an UNREAL mom, but (and you might find this hard to believe <g>) I am not and easy live with, yet she stays. Although...this is a contract year...maybe she's just on her best behavior until we re-sign with the radio station?
Seriously...you know Debbie, am I wrong?!
Charlie & DebbieEditor
Charlie Nance is the Afternoon Drive co-host (along with his wife) of "The Charlie and Debbie Show" at WSOC, Country 1037 in Charlotte, North Carolina. The couple have been with the radio station since 2006. Charlie has won the prestigious CMA (Country Music Association) Award for Radio Personality of the Year and has been a finalist for the Country Radio Hall of Fame four times. Prior to his time in Charlotte, Charlie (along with Debbie) spent more than a decade hosting successful morning radio shows in Greenville, SC; Augusta, Ga; and Birmingham, Al. As a content creator for Country 1037, Charlie writes about dream lottery windfalls, sports, restaurants and bars, and travel experiences in North and South Carolina.
