The sad confirmation came yesterday about the cause of death for Naomi Judd. She never kept it a secret that she suffered from mental illness and even wrote a book about her experience. People magazine and other sources revealed that she did indeed pass due to suicide.
Now we will cherish her memory and her contribution. But there are three people at least who will carry this heavily for the rest of their lives; Her daughters and her husband Larry. I have no doubt that through the years, caring for her and loving her through this has been difficult at times.
I have someone very close to me that has been diagnosed with bi polar disorder and with clinical manic depression. It is excruciating for her at times and it is excruciating on those of us that love her. This disease can devastate an entire family and it certainly has mine at times. At any moment over anything her personality turns on a dime. She can go from being sweet and loving to aggressive and hurtful. She can seem extremely selfish. When she is on a manic high she can never sleep and makes bad decisions and when she is low she is very low; not bathing, not communicating and suicidal. She has attempted suicide and luckily did not succeed . And she has self medicated. She is in pain, especially when she is not taking her medication properly, and it is terrible to watch.
If you love someone like this, I can relate. It can be difficult and sometimes it is toxic to be around. It is hard to know how to help if you have tried everything and made every suggestion. For my own health and sanity I have had to separate myself at times. I won’t get into the details but some things have just been intolerable even criminal. That is awful to say but it is true. Loving someone with severe mental illness is hard. But having to live without them is harder. I will never stop loving her, trying to be the best person I can for her, and helping her as much as I can.
The suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, please get more information here on how to get help
If you love someone with depression and are having difficulty please seek help for yourself here