Advice For Kids Leaving The Nest

I know we’re pretty well past graduation ceremonies for both high school and college. However, many parents are about to send their kids off to college to start a fall semester for the first time. It’s a big adjustment for both parents and kids. So, I wanted to share some advice for kids leaving the nest. And, this goes for parents too. We all need help dealing with major life changes!

Trust me. I’ve been there. We sent our one and only to embark on his college journey in the Fall of 2020. It was particularly tough for all of us, as it was smack in the middle of the pandemic. These are the kids who didn’t get their senior year of high school. And now they were not going to have anything close to a typical freshman year in college. Obviously the pandemic took its toll on everyone in different ways. Unfortunately, for some it meant the loss of loved ones. We certainly don’t want to rehash that dark time. This is meant to be about moving to the next chapter in life and offer advice for kids leaving the nest. And parents, too!

I like to always remember this quote: "Behind you all your memories. Before you all your dreams. Around you all who love you. Within you all you need." It’s the one we put in our son’s high school yearbook on the page set aside for well wishes from parents.

All of this to say, now that our son is out of college I started thinking back to those days ramping up to his send off. And it led me to some words of wisdom from a Facebook page I follow called “Grown and Flown.” These are a few tidbits of advice for kids leaving the nest...and parents need to remember these, too.

On the page a mom posted this ‘heartfelt’ advice she would give her son at drop-off is she could rewind. And I added a few of my own.

It’s okay to miss home. I’m not wishing for “missing you until I can’t function disabling homesickness.” Just a pang or two of missing someone or something from home is expected and normal. It means home is worth missing. 

Don’t worry if you don’t like things immediately. There are a lot of changes going on. Give yourself a chance to adjust. But do try. 

Stay on top of your work. It's a bigger load than high school. And, you have to be self-motivated. Professors probably won't hound you to turn in your work. That's on you. And keep communication open with your instructors. They appreciate knowing you're making an effort.

Loving your roommate is not necessary. Learning how to live with a roommate IS necessary. They may not be your best friend. That’s ok. If they are, it’s a bonus. 

Reach out for quick calls home when you have a moment. It's just for peace of mind for mom and dad. We want to hear your voice if only for a moment. We won't pester you for long conversations or even frequent ones if you let us know you're okay every now and then.

Don't worry if I cry. My tears don't mean I want you to come home. It means I'm happy for your happiness and proud of who you're becoming. But, I do miss you. Let me.

And, remember...there's no one who wants you to succeed more than your mom and dad. Don't try to handle everything yourself. Reach out to professors, friends and us. We are here for you if you need us. And, it's okay if you don't. Just as long as you know it's okay if you do.

So if you have kids leaving the nest this Fall share a few of these tidbits with them. They may pretend they think it's lame. But you never know when some of your advice sticks in their brain and emerges when they, and you, need it most!