Coping with Loss: Bereavement and Mental Health
The death of a loved one – at any age, from any circumstance – is one of the cruelest blows that life has to offer. The journey through this grief is long and difficult. In the early moments, we may find ourselves in an all-consuming pain beyond description. It can be tough to live our everyday lives, challenging to think about anything other than our loss. Even happy memories may bring us pain for a time. People do not “get over” the death of a child, sibling, parent or grandchild, nor do they “snap out of it” as the outside world often thinks we should. This loss is not an illness from which we recover. It is a life altering change that forces us to build a new life for ourselves and our families in a world that no longer includes our loved one.
When a death occurs, you may experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death is expected. Some emotions and experiences you may encounter include: profound sadness, difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite, denial of the loss, inability to function at work, and anger with yourself, family members, medical personnel, God, even the deceased. Below are some ways you can cope with grief.
10 WAYS TO HELP YOURSELF WITH GRIEF
1. Let Others Help You
• Tap bonds with friends, teachers and counselors
• Trust others to help
• Share feelings and pain
2. Remember It’s Normal To Feel What Seems Abnormal
• It is common to feel that you’re ‘going crazy’
• Personal disorganization is common
• Anger and fear will be present
3. Express Thoughts and Feelings
• Words are most helpful and least harmful
• Crying is healthy – it is ok to cry
• Do not fear losing control
4. Do Not Try to Avoid Grief
• Avoiding grief adds misery
• Lean into your feelings
• Grief postponed is acceptance postponed
5. Reach Out
• Sharing is our responsibility
• Do not assume others know what you need
• Choose to be healed
6. Help Others
• Memorialize
• Do more than expected
• Volunteer
7. Rise Above Bitterness
• Bitterness displaces blame
• Grudges deplete energy
• Forgive self and others
8. Expect to Regress
• Grief is erratic
• Special times can be hard
9. Maintain Physical Strength
• Have healthy eating and sleeping habits
• Run, play, and participate in sports
• Find ways to relax
10. Deal With Your Needs and Immediate Problems
• Decide what your needs are
• Seek healthy ways to meet your needs
