Dad, Leave A Legacy Letter For Your Kids
I don’t believe in coincidence. Coincidence is a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance. I believe in serendipity: an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident. And I don’t know if “accident” is the right word. I make more discoveries when I slow down and pay more attention to the things happening around me.
We’re all this way, I think. We get so wrapped up in the daily grind of what we do/have to do, that we become singularly focused and somewhat oblivious to anything happening that doesn’t affect accomplishing out task(s). Vacation allows me to be more open. I wrote the other day about the passing of my dear friend that began our time off. As you might imagine I’ve been thinking about him and his 4 boys a lot in the last few days.
The “Today Show” is always on in the morning. However, I’m usually working on something and it’s background noise at best. BUT, I’m on vacation. So, I was actually paying attention on Monday when the story of Blake Brewer and his “Legacy Letter Challenge” was told.
Some knew my dad as a great football player and as Terry Bradshaw’s tight end at Louisiana Tech and then drafted by the Atlanta Falcons, some knew my dad as CEO of the hospital where he worked, and some knew my dad as their Sunday School teacher at our church…
But to me, my dad was just my dad. He was my hero.
When I was 19 my parents took the family on an amazing trip to Hawaii. On the first day, my dad and I went out snorkeling at Hanauma Bay.
We were having an unbelievable time when, all of a sudden, we got caught up in a rough spot known as Witches Brew.
My father started yelling for help and before I knew it, he was under water. I tried to save him, but I couldn’t overpower the water, and he died in my arms.
It went from being one of the best days of my life to the worst.
A few hours later, we were back in the condo and I was trying to make sense of what just happened. At that moment my mother came into the room and handed me a “gift” from my dad.
I had no idea at the time, but my dad had just finished working on a letter for me and my siblings that he had been working on for several months.
The words in this letter were exactly what I needed at that time in my life and 19 years later his words and his voice are still leading me and guiding me.
Father Time is undefeated. Eventually, he comes for us all. And none of us knows when. Although I never miss the chance to tell my son how much I love him and am so proud to be his father, it occurred to me that this challenge is a great opportunity for him to never have any doubts. Check out Blake’s “Today Show” story below, and then, I’ve got some helpful hints to write your legacy letter.
Now, don’t be intimidated. NONE OF US are Pulitzer Prize worthy writers. We don’t need to be. According to Blake’s free framework, here’s the format to construct your letter. Just speak from your heart, and I guarantee your letter will be more than enough.
INTRO:
APOLOGY:
I LOVE YOU:
I’M PROUD OF YOU:
I BELIEVE IN YOU:
MEMORIES:
LIFE ADVICE:
CLOSING PARAGRAPH/LEGACY LINE:
Okay, deep breath. Here I go.
Hogan.
Son, if you’re reading this, I am no longer here to say these things in person. And I’m very sorry for this. I’ve always tried to remember to express these things to you throughout your life. I never wanted there to be a moment that you had any doubts. I hope this letter will do the trick one last time.
Boy, I’ve loved you from the moment your mom told me you were on the way. The greatest honor and joy of my life has been to tell the world over and over again that Hogan Charles Nance is my son. I realize that pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but it’s one I will admit to whole-heartedly committing on the regular, and accept the consequences when it comes to you. There is no way I can quantify how proud I am of the man you are. Your kindness of heart, generosity of spirit, and loyalty of soul are qualities that are so rare in people today.
Your inner strength is something I’ve watched from afar and always been envious of. You were born 2 months pre-mature, weighing just 2 pounds/4 ounces. Every day for the first months of your life was literally a fight to survive. Not only did you survive but look at how you’ve thrived. There’s nothing you cannot do or accomplish.
You and I have shared a love and obsession with the game of golf. I would not trade one second of all the countless hours we’ve been able to share together in pursuit of the unattainable mastery of this game. Your effortless swing and shot making ability are things that I’ve been privileged to witness and marvel at. We both have come to realize that the game is such a great metaphor for life. So, here are a couple of things I want you to keep in mind.
Exhale, Swing, And Pose
How many times did I say this when you were growing up in the game? Exhaling removes all tension from your body. No great swing was every made on the golf course with tension in the body. Likewise, no major decision can be made effectively with it either. Don’t ever be afraid to take your swing at life. Whatever your heart desires, don’t avoid it out of fear. Ever. And pose? Well, don’t ever miss an opportunity to look at your accomplishments. They will remind you of where you’ve been and inspire you on your next move.
Play It As It Lies
There are no shortcuts in life and no do overs. Whatever obstacle is put in your path, you can handle it. Just analyze each situation and attack it with commitment. All you can do is take the best shot you can. Do it. Every time. No matter the result, you’ll never have to live with “what ifs.”
Accept Winning And Losing With Equal Humility And Grace
In golf and in life, we all unfortunately lose more than we win. Don’t ever allow yourself to get too low or too high. And remember that for every time you come out on top, someone else has failed. Always be as kind and empathetic in triumph as you would wish others to be to you in theirs.
Hogan. You are the best of all the Nance men I’ve known. And I’ve known a lot of them. Be proud of your name and the men who bore it before you. Take care of your family. Nothing is more important.
Oh, and this is not “goodbye.” Far from it. I’ll be with you always. And one day, I’ll be waiting on the first tee on the most beautiful course we’ve ever seen. And we’ll have so much to talk about.
Pops
Okay, now it’s your turn. I challenge you to leave a “Legacy Letter” for your kids.
List: Some Of The Best North Carolina Family Campgrounds For Spring
Joran Lake State Recreation Area
Right up the road outside Raleigh, we have Jordan Lake State Recreation Area. Jordan Lake is a nature lover’s paradise with large, wooded camping sites and a stunning lake open for kayaking and swimming. Also available are double-sized sites so you can keep the crew altogether, with lots of room for extra friends, family, and fun! Don’t forget your kayak!
Trees highlighted by low winter sun reflected in Jordan Lake North Carolina
