North Carolina Professional Golfer Loses Fight With Mental Illness

I purposefully used the term "loses fight with mental illness" in the title of this blog so that I could express my anger with it. Over the weekend North Carolina native and professional golfer Grayson Murray killed himself. Yes, he committed suicide. A lot of people don't like using those words. And I think that's part of the problem.

There's some sort of stigma that we are apparently trying to avoid. Folks we've got a real problem. And trying to avoid stigma by making things not sound as harsh, doesn't appear to be helping. Did I know Grayson Murray? Personally, no. Professionally, only had one encounter over the years. Did I know and love 4 people in the last 12 months who killed themselves? Yes. And I'm angry. I'm angry at the action each person took. I'm even angrier that I wasn't somehow able to say or do something to let each one know how loved and missed he/she would be. I've become friendly over the years with Kip Henley. He's a professional caddy who worked for a while on Grayson's bag. Following him on X/Twitter this weekend has been heartbreaking.

This has got to be an unbelievable pain on the hearts of Grayson Murray's family. Unlike some (like my late brother-in-law), Grayson's struggles with mental health were not just well documented (alcoholism, depression, etc.) but openly acknowledged by Grayson himself. To everyone around him, it seemed Grayson Murray had "turned a corner." Professionally, he'd recently returned to the winner's circle, winning the PGA Tour's Sony Open in Hawaii. On the personal front, he was engaged to be married. In fact, speaking of that win in Hawaii. At the post round press conference Grayson even discussed his challenges with mental illness.

I don't pretend to have the answers. I wish I did. I'm still struggling with the loss of those in my life to suicide in the last year. I think I always will. That doesn't mean I or any of us should stop looking for those answers and ways to help others who are suffering. There's got to be a way to let them know the hole they would be leaving behind in our lives. There's got to be a way to let them know suicide is not the answer. And maybe a start is to quit avoiding the stigma of that word. Don't invent phrases to smooth over a problem and make it sound more palatable. It is not.

Today is May 27. There are still four days left in Mental Health Awareness Month. Earlier this month, I was lucky enough to win $40,000 for suicide prevention in North Carolina. I and my co-workers will be involved with their events moving forward. I invite you to join us as well. WRAL reminds us, If you're having suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis, call or text 988 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Veterans can press “1” after dialing 988 to connect directly to the Veterans Crisis Lifeline. For texts, veterans should continue to text the Veterans Crisis Lifeline short code: 838255.

A new study by SmartAsset ranked the most generous counties in North Carolina. And Mecklenburg County ranked near the top of the list. To create this list researchers measured how much money people donate as a percentage of their net income and the proportion of people in each county who donate to charitable causes.

View the most generous counties in North Carolina below:

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  1.43%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 9.77%

Charitable County Index: 31.39

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Iredell+County,+NC/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x88515a5200f53299:0xf4eb20ac5d2dd7e0

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  1.56%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 9.78%

Charitable County Index: 32.21

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Moore+County,+NC/@35.2595994,-79.5478465,10.75z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x89ab5777cbccf3dd:0x9b655a0ffb000e60!8m2!3d35.3674493!4d-79.4703885

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  2.23%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 8.35%

Charitable County Index: 32.86

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Watauga+County,+NC/@36.2513113,-81.8297325,11z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x8850d0d7e9925b87:0x32fc062a92d6a436!8m2!3d36.1941825!4d-81.734942

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  1.86%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 9.35%

Charitable County Index: 33.01

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Polk+County,+NC/@35.296061,-82.2311672,11.75z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x8859dfe02c8a8d85:0xaf614048eb2dc72!8m2!3d35.2686842!4d-82.1713632

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  1.87%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 10.88%

Charitable County Index: 36.60

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Durham+County,+NC/@36.051289,-78.9973976,11z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x89ace93cc6aed62d:0x242454152e905754!8m2!3d36.0221805!4d-78.9031279

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  1.73%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 12.75%

Charitable County Index: 41.42

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Wake+County,+NC/@35.7973409,-78.9051702,10z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x89ac88ccfabb3d93:0xa41a40b5c635c72c!8m2!3d35.8031909!4d-78.5660852

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  2.18%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 12.13%

Charitable County Index: 41.42

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Mecklenburg+County,+NC/@35.2579421,-81.0843444,10z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x8856abc96599e1e5:0x19f6c12dbcdbcbed!8m2!3d35.2632655!4d-80.8543847

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  2.00%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 13.14%

Charitable County Index: 42.64

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Union+County,+NC/@35.011111,-80.6987602,11z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x8855cd4d43af5f23:0x9ba654f3f53bc105!8m2!3d34.9338651!4d-80.543845

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  2.15%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 13.14%

Charitable County Index: 43.54

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Orange+County,+NC/@36.0521855,-79.2477751,11z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x89acdd65dbd3e811:0x49b749c57542ea3e!8m2!3d36.0263022!4d-79.1096901

Contributions as Percentage of Income:  1.79%

Percentage of Returns Itemizing Charitable Contributions: 14.67%

Charitable County Index: 45

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Chatham+County,+NC/@35.6958569,-79.371034,11z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x89acbc9393c41479:0xda597fa59834ed64!8m2!3d35.7211289!4d-79.17807

(From Smart Asset)

To find the most generous places, we compared two factors in each county: the amount of money people donate as a percentage of their net income, and the proportion of people who made charitable donations.

To determine the amount of money that people donate as a percentage of their income, we first calculated the net income for everyone in each county. To do this, we looked at tax return data and accounted for federal, state and local taxes paid. We also accounted for deductible entries, including mortgage interest, mortgage points and mortgage insurance payments. We then divided each county's total charitable donations by its total net income to see the amount of money residents in each county have donated relative to their income.

Next, we measured the total number of individual tax returns that show charitable contributions and divided that by the total number of individual tax returns in each county. This gave us the proportion of people in each county who make charitable donations.

We then indexed and equally weighted the two factors to yield our Most Charitable Places Index.