Relationships And What Makes Them Work
With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, our attention turns to love and relationships. While relationships can be a wonderful thing, especially in the early stages when you feel the butterflies in your stomach, what happens down the road, years into the journey? If it’s not always hearts and flowers, here are some things to do to nurture and grow the foundation. And, take note of these throughout your relationship rather than waiting until problems arise.
Communicate
From my experience, communication is key in any relationship. That goes for connections with family, co-workers and, especially, mates. Speak openly and honestly to avoid any miscommunication. Avoid trying to hash problems out through email or texts.
Respect And Listening
And, of course, it goes without saying that respect, understanding and empathy are vital components of any relationship. But, in order to establish these pillars of the relationship, you can’t forget to listen. We’ve probably all heard the saying, “God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth to listen twice as much as we speak.” Remember that! And, put away your phone or any other distractions while having discussions with your partner.
Fight Fair
If arguments arise, stick to pertinent information and topics rather than veering off onto side roads or grabbing an opportunity to vent and take cheap shots. When you’re arguing about shared household chores, it’s not the time to bring up how his mother did everything for him as a child and fostered his laziness. Although, it is tempting.
Be A Problem Solver
When conflicts arise, don’t focus on the problem. It’s much more productive to look for solutions. I have a dear friend who is a successful business owner. When her employees approach her with what they present as a problem, she simply says, “We don’t have problems, we have solutions.” But, remain realistic in recognizing that all relationships will have ups and downs. Don’t expect perfection. So, be willing to compromise in order to grow. No one gets their way one hundred percent of the time.
Balance Negative And Positive Interactions
And, I remember hearing from Dr. Phil years ago something I carry with me. And, although I think he was referring to interactions with your children, it can apply to any relationships. For every ‘you’re worthless,’ ‘you can’t do anything right’ or negative interaction you have with someone, it takes 5 ‘atta boys’ to counteract it. So, 5 to 1 ratio of positive versus negative.
An article from Psychology Today sums up many of the topics we went over here. But, bottom line, if you want your relationships to stay the course and even grow, never take them for granted.